A few weeks ago, the man & I went to brunch with a bunch of people. At our table was one newlywed couple and four… FOUR!!… engaged couples! Obviously, there was some wedding chatter going on.
The couple getting married the soonest is having their 400 guest (!!!) reception in a grand ballroom. It's one of those with chandeliers and glided walls. The following conversation happened:
Groom: "It's crazy how much you have to spend on flowers. There is literally no way to get around it. We're having to spend $6000 minimum on JUST flowers."
Me: "Wait. What? Like your package dictates that you have to have that many flowers?"
Groom: "No. It doesn't have a minimum listed. But 400 people- that's 40 tables. Centerpieces are minimum $150 each. So that's $6000 for JUST centerpieces. That's before we even decorate the rest of the room."
They have pretty high expectations in their culture, so it didn't seem worth it to argue but I really wanted to say "Hey… lean in… I have a secret to tell you…. You don't 'have to' buy any flowers at all."
But people have to find their own wedding style and, for some, it seems if you suggest these big lush things are not ACTUALLY a requirement they will have no idea where to go from there. The couple in question can afford that wedding. They will feel confident paying someone to make their already beautiful ballroom look like an english garden. It will make them feel proud to show off a bit. Good for them. So I kept my DIY-cheapo-offbeat mouth shut and squeezed my beloved's hand knowing that, while they are spending the equivilent of our entire budget on just their centerpieces, we will have a lovely, beautiful celebration in a not-at-all grand non-ball room that we, too, will be proud of.